The parents were extremely glad with our arrival. It appeared,
that we returned exactly thanks to them. They were anxious that
after more than two weeks at our friend’s [a male person]
we (my friend [a female person] and I) were not still back; and
they started to search with our friends, who had no idea, where
we were. It was also found out that in our wardrobes there were
no clothes. And the parents began to recollect about our promises
to leave somewhere for Altai, the stories about our “brave
esoteric school”, about the “wonderful seminars ”,
etc. which they did not attach any importance to before. In general,
suddenly everything became clear to them. They have started to inquire
about this “school” at legal bodies ([such as militia]
the translator’s note), and the things they found out didn’t
please them at all. And there started such an alarm: we were now
officially ‘in search’ ([i.e. like MIA, who are still
looked for]), and they warned the “school”, that in
case if we are not back, they sue the school, and so on. This was
enough to send us home in a couple of days, just to get out of harm’s
way. And the solemn seeing-off was to shut our mouths up.
On coming back home, we (my friend and I) proved to be very ill.
I, for example, was ‘turned inside out’ as if I had
the strongest poisoning, I could not eat anything for several days
and could hardly move, I was simply lying like a dead one. Only
a couple of weeks later I could ‘function’ more or less
normally, to walk without help, and the like. Though I felt weakness
in all the body for a month more. And my girlfriend, felt even worse,
she was ill much more seriously than me. Her nose was always bleeding
and she had high temperature. In couple of weeks when she called
for doctors, they told her, that they had never met such a case
for 20 years of their medical practice. She was recovering much
longer than me.
We did not even try to explain our illness. The parents said,
it were consequences of drugs we had been ‘pumped up’
there. We did not want to think of it. Next day my girlfriend called
and informed me that because of my parents the “school”
had great trouble, a lot of “instructors” got arrested,
there was a pogrom on the “outskirts” of our city and
much more than that of the sort. I felt like Judas though it was
not my fault. And I answered my girlfriend, that they would not
care, that for them it was a next-in-turn spiritual feat, a sort
of martyrdom.
Anyway, I was inexpressibly glad to be at home, being afraid to
think of how I was going to live on.
My parents tried softly to tell to me, that for the last two months
at this “school” there were seven suicides, that in
our city a dead-frozen girl from “ashram” of the “school”
was found in a snowdrift, and there is much more of the sort about
the “school” they had learned in militia while searching
us. I did not want to believe them and said, that even if they had
a great deal of dirty affairs behind, still these people possessed
phenomenal abilities, that they were to learn from, and, in general,
all this was a test for faith, and intentionally created outside
unattractiveness. My parents couldn’t say any thing to it.
After I got more or less healthy, the very friend [a girl], who
managed to have with us practice with the “instructor”
in a black chiton at a seminar, called me. She invited me at hers.
It was for the first time for all this time I went out; a heap of
new feelings overflowed me, I realized, that let I be a traitor,
the life is still fine, let God would never have mercy on me (for
my misdeed) anymore, anyway I felt really well. It was interesting
that I hardly could find the house of the friend where I had been
for hundreds of times. I have lost any orientation.
At her place the friend offered me to sit down, for some reason
she was not interested at all, what was there, in “ashram”,
and the like. I can say, it was me to insist on telling her everything.
I was speaking for more than two hours, and my friend did not ever
interrupt me, not to mention the sighs and exclamations at my stories
about fanatic practices at “ashram”. At once I could
anticipate her reaction to a phrase like: “Well, you know,
you shouldn’t be that horrified, in fact this all is my fault,
I deserve it”. Of course, I must confess, I was afraid of
the punishment that should have been befallen upon me at the desecration
of the “school” the thing that the “priestess”
from the tape was speaking about, I was afraid to tell anything
bad about the “Teacher”, and the others, being afraid
to discredit the sacred creation by my false and dirty tongue. But
all the same, to some reason, with all the adornment I could not
draw an acceptable picture of the place of spiritual perfection.
Everything was put at its places by another friend [a girl] who
had visited one of the “ school’s” seminars. She
argued that all the practices at the seminars are simply the cheap
psychological dodges to involve as many people as possible in the
“school”, and so on. We furiously argued, I asserted,
that all this was not true, and even if it was, there was nothing
bad in it, as the “school” really helps people. We didn’t
come to agreement left that conversation.
We changed the theme, but I was still thinking about that. And
suddenly everything became clear and right. I understood, or, perhaps,
recollected, that the “school” for all its being had
never helped anybody but only promised to help, nothing occurred
in really, that with my own eyes I saw no miracles produced by the
“instructors”, there we only stories told by the “instructors”
themselves. On the videotapes of the “school” the “instructors”
do nothing special, they just babble on and on; instead, the films
contain the numerous shots of the people who had really succeeded,
of Sidersky, of Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee, of true Siberian shamans
from a documentary film of the 1960s, etc. Films of the “school”
softly hint, that all this can be learned at the “Shambhala
School”, though the “instructors” themselves led
by “the Great Clarified Teacher” can do nothing but
gesticulate mystically, showing the proceeding through a secret
practice and to bubbleon and on for the others would believe. And
all their knowledge “transmitted by Shambhala” is nothing
but an uncovered plagiarism. Something’s from here, something’s
from there, something’s intentionally omitted, something’s
intentionally added, something’s is explained in the necessary
way, and so there is a brave new religion enticing crowds where
they want, namely straight to the hell. A wide road, as is known,
leads exactly there. Apparently mister ShriDzhnanAvatarMooney isn’t
confused at all, because he, as he said, prepares the world for
coming of Majtreya. Though it is not said in the Bible, Kostja Rudnev
([Kostja is a pet name from Konstantin, the use of this form here
expresses disdain and disrespect] the translator’s note) knows
everything, and decided to announce to the masses the time of Armageddon,
that is known to come suddenly, unexpectedly.
I realized, that I had fallen for the bait of an ordinary vile
sect, the leader of which is far from being clarified, and, after
all, spat upon any spiritual perfection. Consider it, a clarified
person simply would not need to keep a harem of young girls, and
allow to gorge himself up to adiposity. A clarified person is really
above that, far above. A spiritual person simply would not want
to eat sprats and barankas ([a sort of bagel]) like the “instructors”
do, just because it is harmful for their own bodies and he does
not need all that. He needs both external and internal purity without
any lie and acting because a tree with bad roots cannot have good
fruit.
I got it, all that time we (my friend and I) were simply deranged,
we could perfectly see all the ugliness of this “esoteric
school”, but for some reason we did not emphasized it or smoothed
it over with our explanations. Our understanding of the world was
completely substituted, it was replaced. The same was with our lexicon.
Only now I realize, that all that time we spoke a strange language,
clumsy and wrong, using only the formulations of the “school”,
and in our right mind none of us would ever begin to express like
that. It is terrifying that the restoration our own one we would
need a lot of time. We have lost one and a half year of our life
and we have returned to where we started. And what about those people
who have spent or will spend in this sect not one year?! What will
be with them after all this monstrous lie gets revealed?
The problem in that the “school” really touches a
victim on the raw, some people have problems with money, some have
complexes, someone is simply too lazy and passive to correct anything
in his own life. It is always desirable, that somebody would come
and in a wonderful way solve all your problems for you. The “school”
is that very somebody. Though it doesn’t solve any problems,
it only makes them worse. On coming to the “school”
a person remain the same poor or plain, or what else. In addition
to all his old flaws the “school” gives arrogance and
pride. The use of the person’s feeling of own importance is
one of the main trumps of the “school”, they play it
very ably. As a rule those who get to the “school” are
losers, who has achieved nothing in their lives, people of simple
mind, and, certainly, callow teenagers, who are easy to fool. In
real life they are nobody, and within the “school” they
become “the clearest souls of this world ”, “the
saviors of mankind”, all as one are great healers, shamans,
magicians and astrokaratists. Quite often there is a lot of money
paid at the seminars just to listen specific sweet flattery at the
diagnostics.
Really, it is so good to become everything out of nothing . Most
of the “instructors” didn’t have anything in their
life, and here they are welcomed to the authority above human souls,
to the crowds of obedient young girls, capable of executing any
order of “a divine essence”, etc. What freedom for the
realization of the latent desires of unrecognized geniuses and perverts,
weren’t simply bold enough to do it in real life! It is extremely
difficult to refuse from all this. It’s a pity that the “school”
takes real believers and searchers from the truth so far away that
they are uncertain to begin a pure life again.
On having a deeper insight, it horrifies how much evil and darkness
are there at this “school”. The living conditions of
“ashram” resemble those of a concentration camp. It
seems, Hitler, was not the last person to look at when Kostja Rudnev
was creating his organization. Why all this intentional mockery
at a person, why the intentional causing of pain and sufferings,
why cultivating of the animal instincts and hatred in the “sadkhaks”!?.
How much of bad karma the “sadkhaks” have drawn upon
themselves, conducting regular “astro-strikes at the egregor’s
enemies” in “ashram”, that is in fact pure black
magic. I do not think, that Kostja Rudnev the main organizer of
these practices, does not know what he does. All this smells like
a luciferianizm. The “Light” god, too, likes to blind
people very much, thus hiding the dirty craft. The “Shambhala
School” has a nice (though not for all) cover, and decayed
stuffing.
It is ridiculous that there are no magician at the “school”
now, there won’t be any in the future. All the senior “instructors”
led by Rudnev are the professional psychologists who have higher
education; for example, the well-known Shri Ganesha. And their dodges
are old and primitive. And they are designed mainly for the “gray
mass of people” ([the idiom in Russian means “mediocre
people”] the translator’s note), who know very little
about such things, and exactly these people are required by the
“school”, they are “fools” ready to give
everything grown fat Kostja Rudnev with pleasure.
The information that is given out by the “instructors”
on the diagnostics, is preliminary learned about each person from
their friends at a seminar, they try to find out, if there are any
problems and so on; and we knew that perfectly well. The “ashrams”
exist and are supervised only because of betrayal. What are we looking
at? At the seminars they use the methods of NLP and hypnosis, not
the least role is played by intimidation. The phrase about coming
Armageddon, the salvation from which is possible only within the
“Shambhala School”, is always the second in any speech
of any “instructor” or the “Teacher”.
The dangerous thing is that at the beginning the “school”
presents the pupils not spoiled knowledge, taken from any world
religion or doctrine, gradually deforming it as it is necessary.
As the result the “pupil” does not distinguish between
the truth and the lies and becomes strongly hooked, just like we
were. Slowly, though efficiently, his own individual ideology is
superseded and replaced with what the “school” needs,
and such a “pupil” is already capable to exist and reflect
within this system of new ideology, justifying or noticing not the
obvious, offending the eyes, flaws and incoherence of the doctrine
of the “school”, the “instructors”, and
mainly the “Teacher”.
I have read in one of the “Notes of former sadkhaks”,
that, they say, beware, there are real magicians at that “school”,
capable of something terrible. So, I am ready to state with all
the responsibility, that there is nothing of the sort, and there
will never be. Those who had entered there would leave it the same,
and if someone had any abilities that means he had simply brought
them with himself. They will be perfectly made use of; they would
say that was the teaching results. The ones really worthy to be
afraid of are professional hypnotizers. And you should forget about
“the astro-strikes at the enemies of an egregor”, etc.,
that are regular among the “adherents of the school”.
The “adherents” in “ashrams” can hardly
breathe and hardly stay, and as you see they don’t have superfluous
energy for this. Generally, such actions are performed there very
formally, even the ritual not correct; all this is very similar
to the “minute of hatred” from the totalitarian novel
“1984” by Orwell. As for the “instructors”
who are, in comparison with the “sadkhaks”, much more
privileged (their meals are better and they sleep more), they will
not be engaged in similar things at all.
In general, as far as I have understood, the people at “school”
are, too, very different. There are devoted to the “Teacher”
zombies, there are those who realizes everything perfectly well,
but having power and authority do not want to change anything. They
like it that way, even if it is necessary to kowtow to the “seniors”;
still they have some authority, which is sometimes quite significant,
and in their past lives they were nobody, the losers. And some people
simply earn money, in the God they do not trust, they don’t
trust anything, so they don’t care. Some day they will get
tired of this and will quietly disappear, and they will be said
in the “school” to be in deep meditation in the caves
of Altai, or completely gone to nirvana.
It happens at the “school”, when the seniors can’t
share something. In such cases the greediest and the most unsuitable
one is declared to be a “traitor”, and attributed the
prefix false-, he is thought out different names like “Kashchey
666” ([‘Kashchey the Immortal’ is one of the most
odious characters in Russian folk mythology, he is similar to European
‘Leeches’ — the dead king warlocks] the translator’s
note) and is slandered in every possible way in the newspaper the
“Healer”, setting all the “pupils” of the
“school” against him; something of the sort happened,
for example, with Narada Mooney.
It is interesting, that only those who have never been to “ashram”
and never had to work for the “school” “in the
world” are full of romantic ideas about the “school”,
about the splendid “Teacher”, about a certain transcendental
Altay Ashram that does not exist at all. Those who just once came
across with the core of the dirty machinations of the “school”,
begins to take a more sober vie of the things. The ones that are
considered to be necessary for some reason, often for the financial
ones, are treated in a special way. They are brainwashed more carefully.
It is possible to speak about it for a long time enough, telling
amazing stories from the life of the “Shambhala School”
of “the Clarified Teacher”. Though all this can be reduced
to very simple things: all this is just a totalitarian sect, and
all that you can find there is hypnosis, NLP and drugs, not a piece
of romanticism, everything is very dirty and primitive. At this
“school” has several ways for a person: to become an
“instructor”, doomed for the eternal kowtow to the “seniors”,
that is for those who is able to “walk upon heads” ([the
idiom in Russian means “to use people in one’s own purpuses
dealing a lot of harm to them”] the translator’s note),
or to become a “priestess”, a personal delight of Kostja
Rudnev. The others are doomed for the eternal “sadhana”,
there are no long service bonus paid at the “school”,
in a couple of years a person is exhausted and wasted, and he is
dismissed as not wanted. And one more quite often a possible way
at the “school” is when the "adherent" ‘is
carried away feet ahead’ ([the idiom in Russian means “to
die”] the translator’s note).
We are quite an evident example of zombifying. Our way is a way
of two idiot girls, a way of two fools.
Fortunately, very soon my friend has begun to see the things clearly
on her own. The period when the suicide was quite possible was over.
Now we are starting to live anew, we try to return, if not our true
I but our individuality, and it not so easy to do this, and sometimes
in my head I recognize the “school’s” formulas
of thinking, that are constant to emerge. We have decided to forget
about everything, that knew and befor the “school”,
about energies, ways of perfection, etc., as now it is difficult
to recognize, where it is ours and where it is a mixture from the
foul doctrine of the “school”. Everything, absolutely
everything should be started anew. We know nothing and assert nothing.
The only thing we are now sure in, it that the beautiful tomorrow
begins today, this very second, and nobody would decide anything
for you. We know, that there is purity, both external and internal,
and we strive for it. Truly, in a person everything should be beautiful
([the expression repeats one of the most well-known Anthon Chekhov’s
phrases: “Everything in a person should be beautiful: the
face, the clothes, and the soul”] the translator’s note).
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